Actually the culture of Lao people which places importance on the girl being a virgin before marriage is different from the culture of many tribes in southern Laos, where many of the cultures encourage the girls to have a lot of sex before marriage. This is changing though, due to Lao influence and the culture of Lao people swallowing out the minority cultures. The Lao schools also have a role in this. In the past in a lot of villages in Southern Laos girls would have sex with many guys before they got married. Now, not so much but you can still find it in some less developed villages.

Maybe women think that way, but to men it definitely matters. I admit that it may be an ego thing, though. It's got more to do with the man's ego than the woman's character.

If a man knows that his woman has slept with another man it damages his pride. Pride is very important for men so I don't expect women to understand this like a man could.

One takes several factors into consideration before choosing a mate. Character is one of them, but not the only one.

The average man would not want to choose a woman he found no physical attraction to. Yes, I agree that character is important but it's only one of the factors and some people like to make it seem like all of them.

I'm not singling you out admin, but some women get very defensive and upset when men say they will only settle for a virgin. That's usually because they aren't virgins and they're afraid no one will want them.

Yes, there are some men who would settle for non-virgin women and they are usually the weaker beta-male types, or they don't have enough confidence to find a new girl so they have to settle for what they've got. There's a saying that goes "beggars can't be choosers."

I call those men "ຄົນບໍ່ມີສັກສີ"

It's not that they don't have enough confidence, but there is something about the girl that attracts them. A virgin girl might be a priority for some guys, while other guys couldn't care less and love them for who they are.

It seems like you have to settle for the stay-at-home type girls because you don't accept anyone who have had prior boyfriends.

Lol, this could go back and forth forever like a little game of tug o war, and neither of our opinions will change in the end, so let's just call a no contest. What is this "life" thing you speak of? I'm fine with sticking to the old gender roles of having her pop out a bunch of babies and grow vegetables in the fields, with the kids running around and riding on a buffalos back. I'm not familiar with this life thing you speak of but just listening to it it sounds unpleasant.

Buk Nut wrote on 27^th Jun, 2014 at 12:46pm:

... In a certain way, that's amazingly consistent with what I was thinking about what you wanted. 

Question:  Is it okay for a guy to have sex with a girlfriend (or any girl) before marriage and then not marry the girl but move on to another girlfriend?



Buk Nut wrote on 27^th Jun, 2014 at 12:46pm:

Yes.  I see what you mean.

There's no need for a "beta-male" to go to a relationship counselor as long as the wife is sufficiently obedient and knows her place in the fields alongside the water buffalo.

But, then, there's also no need for a relationship counselor for the alpha-male who is actually comfortable with a strong wife or girlfriend, either.


Buk Nut wrote on 27^th Jun, 2014 at 12:46pm:

My favorite Lao friend ... she teaches Yoga.   

It's probably good that she has a "western" boyfriend.  They seem to do very well together.

And furthermore, people have married "weak women" all throughout history. So are they all betas because they don't conform to your new age American theory of what a woman should be? What makes these women strong women? Just because some self important feminist somewhere said so? Do I have some kind of moral obligation to be with a "strong woman"? Last I checked strength was a masculine trait and not a feminine one. We have different views, I get it. But that doesn't mean i'm wrong and you're right. If you like strong women then go for it, but I'll stick with my "weak women" and that doesn't make me any less of a man. And no I will never conform to western values just because they're seen as progressive and being the "correct ones"

Buk Nut wrote on 27^th Jun, 2014 at 9:08pm:

Was I even hinting that you have any "moral obligation" regarding this subject at all??  I didn't think so.  You can marry any kind of woman you want and, as long as you are good to each other, it seems to me it would be a good match. 

It's just that you said that certain desires & tastes necessarily indicate an "alpha male" vs. a "beta male."  And you backed it up by going on with your assumptions about the requirement for a "relationship counselor."  I merely wanted to state an alternate perspective.  Perhaps an "alpha male" doesn't necessarily conform to your notion of one.   

I said what I said because ...
Buk Nut wrote on 27^th Jun, 2014 at 3:59am:
... as I see it, an "alpha" male isn't necessarily so easily damaged by the previous actions of his girlfriend or wife and may even enjoy the fact that she knows more than other girls do about certain things (sexual or otherwise.)


I am certainly not opposed to "traditional" roles and values.  In fact, my own 40-year-long relationship with my wife has been much more "traditional" than many in American culture these days.  I just like to challenge fixed-set thinking, especially when it seems to be putting people into a "beta" class category for choices that don't necessarily hurt anything.


Buk Nut wrote on 27^th Jun, 2014 at 4:26pm:

I don't have to ask Admin Saovaluck.  She has made her views quite well known on this and other subjects.  And I appreciate them very much.  She is the kind of woman that I could easily be friends with if she wanted to be and if she were not halfway around the world.  A number of my friends are girls/women with such thoughts. 


Buk Nut wrote on 27^th Jun, 2014 at 4:26pm:
Interesting.


Buk Nut wrote on 27^th Jun, 2014 at 4:26pm:

But I wasn't asking in terms of "in Lao culture."  I am aware of what Lao culture says on the subject.  It is the same as the "traditional" views of many other cultures.

I was asking what you, personally, thought about the idea of having sex with a girl and then going on to another without marrying her.