Hi all,

I have known a Lao girl for a number of years, talking off and on (online) in this time. We have met once, a few months ago. I am from America. We are both in our late 20s. Now she says that her parents are a problem (doesn't want a foreign bf for her) and that I shouldn't go back there (until she says it's ok). Basically, I feel in my mind that she is stringing me along, because she likes the sweet things I say to her. I feel that she is keeping her options open, waiting for a better marriage prospect, and treating me like a fool (easy to do because I'm very fond of her). She doesn't communicate with me much at all, like maybe once per week these days, if I'm lucky. Now call me culturally insensitive, if you like, but I think I'm being treated like garbage here.
Of course, I could be totally paranoid and over thinking all of this. On the other hand, I could could absolutely correct.  ::)

Thoughts, advice, please?

First of all, how are we supposed to know what she's thinking? My advice is that you should try to talk to more girls yourself. Learn to speak Lao so you don't just have access to English-speaking girls.

Don't take my word for it, but I think that girls in SE Asia that speak English and talk to foreign guys like you are generally going to be looking for foreigners for money and she might have several foreign guys. What makes you think that you're the only English speaking white guy out there? If she can talk to you she can talk to hundreds.

I wouldn't date a girl that speaks English and talks to foreign guys online, but after we are dating if she wants to learn it I could teach her, even though I don't like teaching.

Thanks for the reply, Mak Nad. I know it's strange to ask such a question here, but I just don't really have anyone I can ask for advice (people that know anything about Laos). Only my level of exasperation has led me to come here to ask such a complicated or impossible question With regards to talking to more Lao girls, I'm actually not really interested. I am not "targeting" Lao girls as the kind of girl I wish to marry, I just fell in love with one, after a chance meeting.

Thanks.

Dump her find aother girl. fair and simple and easy.

In late 20s, for girls, chances of getting married off is slim, very very slim here. reaching 29, already over the hill.

cheer up! open your horizon, right before you, a larg forest. ;D

You username say alot about ya.

Thank you gents for the harsh dose of reality. And rather observant on the user name there... Haha. I am a hopeless romantic. Unsure whether the emphasis should be placed on "hopeless", "romantic", or the two word combo as a whole.

Kop jai lai lai.

you can't place all your bets on one horse, unless it was your childhood romance horse that you've been through everything with. What makes you think a wild horse will be loyal to you?

It's best to have several horses in your stable and try riding each one of them. If they won't let you ride, then they ain't your horse.

dam right . test drive as many car as you can.

Just hit and quit man!


dreamer_777 wrote on 7^th Feb, 2014 at 9:04am:

Thanks for the reply, Mak Nad. I know it's strange to ask such a question here, but I just don't really have anyone I can ask for advice (people that know anything about Laos). Only my level of exasperation has led me to come here to ask such a complicated or impossible question With regards to talking to more Lao girls, I'm actually not really interested. I am not "targeting" Lao girls as the kind of girl I wish to marry, I just fell in love with one, after a chance meeting. Thanks.

Can't you tell the boy in love  :D

he probably won't come back to see this thread anymore, maybe he just signed up to ask that question. Anyways, he already answered his own question basically. A girl that loved you would not do that to you. You need to meet several girls and just see how the relationship with them goes.

Don't worry guys, I have lurked. And yes, I suppose I did sign up purely to ask a question, which I did indeed already know the answer to. Guilty as charged. But I probably won't hang around too much. As I said, I'm not specifically looking for a Lao girl. Additionally, now that I know all of the processes and hassles that there are, regarding marrying a Lao girl, I think it would be rather silly to go out and specifically look for a Poo Sao. Sometimes when, as you said, I am in love; it takes a bit of slapping yourself in the face with, before you can accept it. Indeed, if she truly loved me, her actions would have shown it, and consisted of more than a few throw away "I love yous". The reality is, that for her and I, the feelings we had for each other were created over internet communication. This form of communication allowed us to think about the other in the way we wished, creating a fantasy world which could not be matched in the real world; where we perhaps did not have the same chemistry. It's the same old story with relationships that begin, and linger, for far (far, far) too long on the internet.

But it was nice, when I was out on my own in Laos, away from her for a week or two, I wasn't a player, as some of you have suggested. Though I didn't feel totally confident in her "end of the bargain", I kept it nice and stayed loyal. While it means nothing to her now, I guess, it made my soul feel clean for doing so. And she will never know herself, whether or not I was out frolicking with backpackers or other Lao girls. But, I know I wasn't doing that. Because sure, I've been less honourable in the past when in "relationships" which were less than ideal.

Thanks priests, or psychologists, for reading. Haha.
Happy Valentine's Day, lovers and players.  :thumbup1