Is it true theat as "men" we can beat our wives? I was talking to my uncle the other day, and he ascertained that it is a "man's" right to discipline his women. He too, has been guilty of it at times. I am not talking about "bullying' here, but more about uncontrolable outbursts. If you know nothing about domestic affairs in laos (William Kelley). Then don't bother answering! I need to hear this straight from the mouths of the "real" Lao, and not from the "plastic" ones who can't speak their own language and know nothing about Lao cultire.

I think your uncle is a little too much to drink when you rise that subject with you. Maybe it's time for you to visit you own ancestor birth-place. Backpacking would be an eye open for you. You never know, you may learn something about the real Laos...and the people.

"Reading from the text will never beat the real thing"  Take that chance, go for it....Laos do need employ someone and also someone job would be secure because of your dollars.

Just because your uncle is doing it, doesn't mean that it is alright for other men in Laos to do it.

If Lao law gives men the authority to do as they will to their wives, then I'll never get married. I don't want my husband beating me for any reason, and get away with it.

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 9^th Mar, 2011 at 4:56pm:

Just because your uncle is doing it, doesn't mean that it is alright for other men in Laos to do it. If Lao law gives men the authority to do as they will to their wives, then I'll never get married. I don't want my husband beating me for any reason, and get away with it.

Please read the question properly before answering. My uncle has only hit his wife in the heat of an argument. He doesn't "bully" her  on an everyday basis. They "made-up" a very long time ago. All is forgiven. My aunty was in the room while he was relaying this to me, too. He also said: "The cops don't really". They too must know that "custom" overrules the law.
Is it true, admin', that even if this behaviour is seen by the "law", that they will only give the offender token warnings? Thay don't really want to get involved do they?

In the above post, the quote was supposed to say: "The cops don't really care".

Laos is a conservative culture and men rule. Just like middle east, but not as bad. I think domestic violence is tolerance. You can't just go to polices and put your husband in jail for hitting you. Most women will keep quite. In America women have more right. If you have kids you'll pay child supported and go to jail right away if you put your hand on a women. You can be jail just for threaten somebody. There's rule of law and very very strict. No one is above the law here rich and powerful, celebrity, politicians, millionaire sometime go to jail for domestic violence. You'll hear it all over the news.
8-) :)

The police usually only gets involved as the last resort. To be honest, the police in Laos are useless these days unless you give them some money.

In most cases, relatives will get involved to help you when there's domestic violence. Then we have what is called a "village head" who acts as an authority in your area and he will go over to solve any problems the couple may have.

That's true, most women in Laos will keep quiet to save face. I'm sure the law in the US is very strict.

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 9^th Mar, 2011 at 6:50pm:

The police usually only gets involved as the last resort. To be honest, the police in Laos are useless these days unless you give them some money. In most cases, relatives will get involved to help you when there's domestic violence. Then we have what is called a "village head" who acts as an authority in your area and he will go over to solve any problems the couple may have. That's true, most women in Laos will keep quiet to save face. I'm sure the law in the US is very strict.

Its our culture. I don't want people to know my family business either. Its should be solve through family, between husband and wife first. Unless its very very serous. In U.S sometime the women will call police right way and sometime they lies to get the men in trouble. That's why US is very safe and great place to live. There's lot of rule, law and regulation. For example fishing in public place you need get to a license. If you need to fixed your house sometime you need a permit from the city. Some Lao guy joking around saying there's more freedom in Laos then in U.S because there're so many law and regulation here.
;D

Yes, it can be embarrassing so most people keep their family problems behind closed doors, unless it's very serious. Serious as in a life threatening situation.

Word travels fast in Laos. The whole village will know that your husband just beat you up. That's why most women don't like to make complaints about their husband.

You need a license to fish in the US? Now that's something I didn't know.

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 9^th Mar, 2011 at 8:05pm:

Yes, it can be embarrassing so most people keep their family problems behind closed doors, unless it's very serious. Serious as in a life threatening situation. Word travels fast in Laos. The whole village will know that your husband just beat you up. That's why most women don't like to make complaints about their husband. You need a license to fish in the US? Now that's something I didn't know.

So, it's true then, that this type of behaviour is tolerated, if not accepted by the law?

This type of behaviour is not tolerated, but if women remain silent (which they often do), then there's nothing that can be done about it.

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 10^th Mar, 2011 at 4:51am:

This type of behaviour is not tolerated, but if women remain silent (which they often do), then there's nothing that can be done about it.

I'm not talking about the "silence"; I mean the "law". If no-one knows: then no-one knows. Do cops in Laos not take an oath to "serve and protect"?

It depends on the seriousness of it. If my boyfriend/husband broke my bone and I report it to the village headman (we always approach him first) then he will be spending some time in jail and that's the end of our relationship.

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 10^th Mar, 2011 at 5:23am:

It depends on the seriousness of it. If my boyfriend/husband broke my bone and I report it to the village headman (we always approach him first) then he will be spending some time in jail and that's the end of our relationship.

Speaking hypothetically now, are you......................................ummmmmmm. :P

Well, I'm just giving you an example by using myself.

If no one knows, then the authorities also won't know.

If they know, then that is what will happen.

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 10^th Mar, 2011 at 5:58am:

Well, I'm just giving you an example by using myself. If no one knows, then the authorities also won't know. If they know, then that is what will happen.

I was referring to "boyfriend/husband".
Am I exasperating you with all this? Because I can stop. But only if you ask.

Real men, no matter what part of the world they hail from, do not hit, push, badger, degrade, insult, or disrespect women. Period.

wrote on 10^th Mar, 2011 at 6:18am:

Real men, no matter what part of the world they hail from, do not hit, push, badger, degrade, insult, or disrespect women. Period.

I was simply asking an open-ended  question. Because I wasn't sure, I asked my fellow kin on what their views were regarding this subject. Don't you know this is a "Lao" website? You seem to have adamant "faith" in how "everyone" is supposed to behave. Why don't you go to an Arab website and post this response verbatim. Better yet, say it to their faces. But you won't, will you? You'd end up with your neck sawn off quicker than a blink of an eye. But you already know this, don't you? Is that why you have to come to "Laopride" to preach your gospel? Do your "conversions" elsewhere! There are alot of cultures in the world. This world doesn't just belong to the whites. This is not just a white man's world.

Sorry New Zealand friend, but can you please be a bit nice to others, we are all adults here. They don't want their site to turn into a slanging match, otherwise they might dismiss me as the admin if things get out of hand.

We don't always have to agree with things, but we can debate in a nicer tone, thank you.

I agreed with you 100%. 8-) :)



wrote on 10^th Mar, 2011 at 6:18am:

Real men, no matter what part of the world they hail from, do not hit, push, badger, degrade, insult, or disrespect women. Period.

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 10^th Mar, 2011 at 11:41am:

Sorry New Zealand friend, but can you please be a bit nice to others, we are all adults here. They don't want their site to turn into a slanging match, otherwise they might dismiss me as the admin if things get out of hand. We don't always have to agree with things, but we can debate in a nicer tone, thank you.

You're right. You're right. You're right. I may have over reacted here. Foer the sake of my new "friend", I would like to apologize for my knee-jerk reaction. I am extending my hand in what I hope can lead to a truce. We don't want to turn "Laopride.com" into the next "asiasfinest.com", (the Lao forum, anyway), do we? The clowns over there retaliate tit-for-tat over trivial issues. Lets not stoop to their level.

Thank you for your understanding. You're a valuable member of the forum and I look forward to reading many interesting discussions now and the future.

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 11^th Mar, 2011 at 5:57am:

Thank you for your understanding. You're a valuable member of the forum and I look forward to reading many interesting discussions now and the future.

Where in Laos are you from, anyway? You don't have to pinpoint your exact location. Just the district will do. I feel like I am reading a novel here. Just like reading a novel, I need to visualize what the "characters" are up too. Hopefully this isn't too direct.

Larb Dip wrote on 11^th Mar, 2011 at 4:16am:

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 10th Mar, 2011 at 11:41am: Sorry New Zealand friend, but can you please be a bit nice to others, we are all adults here. They don't want their site to turn into a slanging match, otherwise they might dismiss me as the admin if things get out of hand. We don't always have to agree with things, but we can debate in a nicer tone, thank you. You're right. You're right. You're right. I may have over reacted here. Foer the sake of my new "friend", I would like to apologize for my knee-jerk reaction. I am extending my hand in what I hope can lead to a truce. We don't want to turn "Laopride.com" into the next "asiasfinest.com", (the Lao forum, anyway), do we? The clowns over there retaliate tit-for-tat over trivial issues. Lets not stoop to their level.

I accept and also offer my apologizes in kind. Some things I feel very strongly about. My sister was beat quite badly in her first two marriages, and had much mental abuse (including pushing and holding her down) in her third. If you could have seen the results her second husband did on one occasion, you would understand.

I have to learn to be more flexible with my convictions. Yet, we both have something in common that binds us. Our love for Laos and people and things Lao. In May I will get the chance to love Laos even more.  ::shaking your hand in a gesture perpetual truce::

wrote on 11^th Mar, 2011 at 6:40am:

Larb Dip wrote on 11th Mar, 2011 at 4:16am: Admin Saovaluck wrote on 10th Mar, 2011 at 11:41am: Sorry New Zealand friend, but can you please be a bit nice to others, we are all adults here. They don't want their site to turn into a slanging match, otherwise they might dismiss me as the admin if things get out of hand. We don't always have to agree with things, but we can debate in a nicer tone, thank you. You're right. You're right. You're right. I may have over reacted here. Foer the sake of my new "friend", I would like to apologize for my knee-jerk reaction. I am extending my hand in what I hope can lead to a truce. We don't want to turn "Laopride.com" into the next "asiasfinest.com", (the Lao forum, anyway), do we? The clowns over there retaliate tit-for-tat over trivial issues. Lets not stoop to their level. I accept and also offer my apologizes in kind. Some things I feel very strongly about. My sister was beat quite badly in her first two marriages, and had much mental abuse (including pushing and holding her down) in her third. If you could have seen the results her second husband did on one occasion, you would understand. I have to learn to be more flexible with my convictions. Yet, we both have something in common that binds us. Our love for Laos and people and things Lao. In May I will get the chance to love Laos even more.  ::shaking your hand in a gesture perpetual truce::

The slate is now clean, "Bro" - that's "friend" in the vernacular of the "Kiwi" heartland.
Enjoy your trip to our beloved Laos!