I have been reading on the net that foreigner (especially farangs) can get in deep trouble when they are found to be in the same room with a Lao GF. Huge fines of several thousand USD and even jail terms are mentioned on the web.

To make matters worse, marriage requires a lot of tea money and months of waiting.

Are those description still accurate? Would love to get some insights from the board.....

Yep it's pretty accurate.  Being in the same room can lead to premarital sex which is not tolerated.  I wish we could enforce this law in the US.  Maybe we could cut down on the teen pregnancies and divorce rates.  As for Marriage, the waiting time and paperwork could take up to possibly 1-2 years.  It's a pain in the ass waiting to be with your spouse.  As long as the both of you are communicating on a daily or weekly basis, time flies.   :)

Wondering how that works in practice! Sounds like you could not even hire a cleaning lady or someone to cook for you...without being in danger of getting jailed or blackmailed....

If you hire a cleaning lady, etc.. that would be considered employment.  When you employ someone be sure it's documented (application and permits).  Keep all documents in a secure place whenever an incident occur.  In Laos, i wouldn't worry too much tewada.  People there are very traditional/cultural.  In other words, many have respect toward foreigners.  

In America we take girls out, it's okay regardless of what her parents say.  But, if you want a relationship with a Lao/Asia girl I would suggest you get to know her and her family first before you decide to jump the gun.  Lao/Asian families are very strict, in a sense they can lie and put you in a place and nothing you can do about it.  I don't want to see you in this difficult situation.  So, be careful.

Keeping documents or even getting a permit to hire someone to clean you apartment once in a while, just so you are not blackmailed or thrown in jail sounds pretty complicated.... i must say such prospects are not very enticing.....

tewada wrote on 22^nd Mar, 2010 at 9:25am:

Keeping documents or even getting a permit to hire someone to clean you apartment once in a while, just so you are not blackmailed or thrown in jail sounds pretty complicated.... i must say such prospects are not very enticing.....

If you are a foreigner they assume you are loaded $$$. I'm sure you don't need any sort of documents if you know them or trust them well enough to do the cleaning in a professional manner.  It's better to be safe then sorry.   I know I got blackmailed once by these motel clerks,  they held onto my passport and demanded I pay 3 nights worth when I actually stayed 2.  Of course, I didn't care about anything else, I paid them a measly $40 to obtain my passport.  But, before I left I gave these 2 gentlemen a good lecture.  LOL

Sounds awful !Nothing like that has ever happened to me in TH. Seems life can easily get very complicated in Laos....

I'm so surprise that admin didn't make any comment regarding this topic.  Maybe she is too busy driving her new BMW around town picking up guys. LOL ;D

Agree, i would love the input on this issue by the moderator!  

I hate to be forced to paranoid and the way it sounds is that even perfectly innocent interactions in everyday situation can lead one vulnerable to blackmail, huge fines and jail.... If no one convinces me otherwise, i will seriously reevaluate my plans....

There's no need to be paranoid about it.  As long as you are following their laws and using common sense on who you interact with and what your intentions are you should be okay.  The incident that happened to me was just a one time experience.  But overall, I did enjoy my vacation there and I plan on going back in the near future.  

The country you need to be concern about is Thailand (theft and prostitution).  Laos is very peaceful.

tewada, if you don't mind me asking.  What is your intention as far as going to Laos?  Finding a girlfriend?  Just going on a vacation?  Moving there?  If you are going on a vacation you are pretty safe.  If you plan on getting a just a girl friend without marriage, I don't highly recommend it.  If you want to move there then get your business visa set up.  From my understanding it's becoming difficult now, because the government is doing a crackdown on fraud for the reason people abusing it.  You might want to do some research on that.

Buk IIWJ, Sorry, I've been busy with visitors from Thailand. Took them out in my BM, a late night out, been sleeping like a baby.

Tewada, All hotels, guesthouses and apartments have their own cleaners, so there is no need for people to hire their own private cleaners.

If you stay with your girlfriend and her family in their homes then there is no problem, however if you are a foreigner (especially a westerner) and you stay with her elsewhere then it may be a problem if you aren't married.

Just respect the law in Laos and your stay will be enjoyable.

I researched the matter a bit further. Appearantly one needs the consent of the village headman if one stays in a private home, and nothing would then prevent the head of a family to blackmail a boyfriend, if for any reasons, they are unhappy with the boyfriend down the road.

I am sure that most hotels have their own staff for cleaning, but my point was, that even innocent interpersonal contacts may be construed in a fashion that leaves one fully exposed to blackmail and jail terms.

So, it sounds to me that as a tourist Laos can be great...but living a normal life with social interactions in Laos is impossible, as things can turn nasty at any moment......

tewada wrote on 23^rd Mar, 2010 at 7:22am:

I researched the matter a bit further. Appearantly one needs the consent of the village headman if one stays in a private home, and nothing would then prevent the head of a family to blackmail a boyfriend, if for any reasons, they are unhappy with the boyfriend down the road. I am sure that most hotels have their own staff for cleaning, but my point was, that even innocent interpersonal contacts may be construed in a fashion that leaves one fully exposed to blackmail and jail terms. So, it sounds to me that as a tourist Laos can be great...but living a normal life with social interactions in Laos is impossible, as things can turn nasty at any moment......

You are right about that.  Living in Laos can be difficult, especially if you don't know the language, tradition and culture well enough.  The only way you can be normal there if you have close ties with family members or friends that live there.  When things get ugly you can turn to them for help.   Other then that, you are on your own. I don't mean to frighten you with all my posts, but, it's reality.

Hi there!

I spent quite some time on "the other side of the river", have taken language classes and am quite familiar with the culture. But what it all boils down to is the vulnerability to blackmail if one starts to interact with native people in normal fashion and establishes relationships that is the most basic, natural motivation for most human beings (see also articles 16 and 17 of The UN Charta on Human Rightrs)  http://www.un.org/rights/50/decla.htm

So as much as I regret it, I will have to change my long-term plans....

tewada wrote on 23^rd Mar, 2010 at 4:33pm:

Hi there! I spent quite some time on "the other side of the river", have taken language classes and am quite familiar with the culture. But what it all boils down to is the vulnerability to blackmail if one starts to interact with native people in normal fashion and establishes relationships that is the most basic, natural motivation for most human beings (see also articles 16 and 17 of The UN Charta on Human Rightrs)  http://www.un.org/rights/50/decla.htm So as much as I regret it, I will have to change my long-term plans....

Sorry to hear.  I hope you do find other destinations that suit you well.  

It is hard enough for a Lao guy from the west to go live in Laos. For a foreign white guy to go and live there and have a gf or wife, I have never seen or heard of that before. I have seen and heard of them bringing them to the west, and then they either run away or are trapped financially or by having children. Also have to remember this isn't a multicultural society in Laos and for most of asia for that matter, when the locals see a western male with a native girl, it is not always accepted by positive feelings. I'm even afraid to even date with a girl from Laos cause of the repercussions that could be inflicted upon me such as her family could have me "put away", planting drugs on me or in my hotel and then paying off the cops since they are so currupt. Do you think they've ever heard the phrase "innocent until proven guilty" in Laos? You don't just date/marry a Laos girl, you have to basically join the family and be controlled by them also. If she's from a rich family, she's already got an arranged marriage, so most likely you will be finding a country girl who will have family leech from you and expect to become rich overnight because of you, a foreigner. So basically they are whoring out their daughter. A foreigner living in Laos has to be on their toes cause when something goes bad, you will always be in the wrong. Remember, when you are a tourist, they like it cause you are bringing them money, when you are now permanent, it's like a guest who has overstayed their welcome.

I hate to sound negative but I have also thought about going to another country and living there, and it's not just Laos either. However, always keep in the back of your mind, I don't care what anyone says, LAOS IS STILL A COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP and there is a reason why there are so many Lao people living outside of Laos since 1975.

Hope you are rich cause from looking at past posts, you can see that people in this region are very materialistic, even though they are poor. Take for example the infamous BMW comment. Also, I was going to comment on the thread about "No money, No honey" thread that I saw posted a while back. I was going to say, "what a great way to welcome a visitor to your country by telling him that the women are prostitutes that can only be bought with money, not love". Sure tells you something about their value system and society in general.

Anyways, if you still going down this one way street, then you got balls of steel. I'll take my chances with the options I have left here: 50% divorce rate, keep bringing one here until I find one that doesn't run away, and lastly just become a monk and leave the situation...

Buk Hoo Kee wrote on 23^rd Mar, 2010 at 11:15pm:

It is hard enough for a Lao guy from the west to go live in Laos. For a foreign white guy to go and live there and have a gf or wife, I have never seen or heard of that before. I have seen and heard of them bringing them to the west, and then they either run away or are trapped financially or by having children. Also have to remember this isn't a multicultural society in Laos and for most of asia for that matter, when the locals see a western male with a native girl, it is not always accepted by positive feelings. I'm even afraid to even date with a girl from Laos cause of the repercussions that could be inflicted upon me such as her family could have me "put away", planting drugs on me or in my hotel and then paying off the cops since they are so currupt. Do you think they've ever heard the phrase "innocent until proven guilty" in Laos? You don't just date/marry a Laos girl, you have to basically join the family and be controlled by them also. If she's from a rich family, she's already got an arranged marriage, so most likely you will be finding a country girl who will have family leech from you and expect to become rich overnight because of you, a foreigner. So basically they are whoring out their daughter. A foreigner living in Laos has to be on their toes cause when something goes bad, you will always be in the wrong. Remember, when you are a tourist, they like it cause you are bringing them money, when you are now permanent, it's like a guest who has overstayed their welcome. I hate to sound negative but I have also thought about going to another country and living there, and it's not just Laos either. However, always keep in the back of your mind, I don't care what anyone says, LAOS IS STILL A COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP and there is a reason why there are so many Lao people living outside of Laos since 1975. Hope you are rich cause from looking at past posts, you can see that people in this region are very materialistic, even though they are poor. Take for example the infamous BMW comment. Also, I was going to comment on the thread about "No money, No honey" thread that I saw posted a while back. I was going to say, "what a great way to welcome a visitor to your country by telling him that the women are prostitutes that can only be bought with money, not love". Sure tells you something about their value system and society in general. Anyways, if you still going down this one way street, then you got balls of steel. I'll take my chances with the options I have left here: 50% divorce rate, keep bringing one here until I find one that doesn't run away, and lastly just become a monk and leave the situation...

well said.   :)

You're all entitled to your opinion but let me say this, I have a few friends who are westerners that are married to a Lao girl and they live happily together in Laos.

If you're afraid that something terrible will happen to you then don't come to Laos, it doesn't matter to us really. But if you respect our law, love Lao culture and the peaceful and friendly Lao people then we welcome you with open arms.

Admin Saovaluck wrote on 24^th Mar, 2010 at 5:05am:

You're all entitled to your opinion but let me say this, I have a few friends who are westerners that are married to a Lao girl and they live happily together in Laos. If you're afraid that something terrible will happen to you then don't come to Laos, it doesn't matter to us really. But if you respect our law, love Lao culture and the peaceful and friendly Lao people then we welcome you with open arms.

I'm happy for them that it worked out.  Like I said before, marriage could last a long time if a foreigner remains in Laos with their spouse.  At least you know the tradition and culture mindset is corrupt free versus bringing them to the states, etc..  

Tourism is very important to Laos economy, I'd say it does matter.  For those that's afraid of the "what if" scenario in regards to relationship, government,  and long term residency I recommend short term visit.  One month of stay is all you need to enjoy the food, tradition, and culture.   :)

Marrying a woman from one of the neighboring countries and then move to Laos as a married couple might be the solution to the puzzle :-)

I don't think it's that bad just to have a female friend in a room for a chat, however it's a different story if you get caught doing somethin naughty, it's the same in China and Vietnam, in China they stamp on your passport or ask your wife to bail you out, well ,as least they don't set you up like in US.
If you looking for excitement minus the unexpected, there are plenty places to go..Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, Macau etc...
If you really must do it in commu countries, then go to the top  night cluds and stay in 5 star hotels or hotels run by government, the local official dare not to touch those places...see it's the same devil again...money
In Laos you can pick up a nice girl for a night for US$35 in a top Karaoke bar and get a safe room for $12, it's the same old story everywhere, they have been paid to safeguard the business.
How do I know? I was in the travel industry for a while and know tour guides from different countries, there's an old Chinese saying " all the crows has the same colour...black".

Sorry to correct you, but appearantly having ANY female in your room alone can get you in deep s..t  and you can be blackmailed and jailed !  I have no idea how frequently that happens, but there is that danger !

So no language teacher, cleaning lady, cook, female friend are allowed in your room, unless you are asking for trouble.  That is how things look to me from afar!

Sorry to correct you, but appearantly having ANY female in your room alone can get you in deep s..t  and you can be blackmailed and jailed !  I have no idea how frequently that happens, but there is that danger !

So no language teacher, cleaning lady, cook, female friend are allowed in your room, unless you are asking for trouble.  That is how things look to me from afar!

tewada wrote on 24^th Mar, 2010 at 5:03pm:

Sorry to correct you, but appearantly having ANY female in your room alone can get you in deep s..t  and you can be blackmailed and jailed !  I have no idea how frequently that happens, but there is that danger ! So no language teacher, cleaning lady, cook, female friend are allowed in your room, unless you are asking for trouble.  That is how things look to me from afar!

Instead of having women go into your room to clean, etc.. why not men?? I'm sure you won't get jailed. But, blackmailed maybe.    ;D

The only danger you got to worry about with Lao girls is STI's

Most Laos do have a good nature in their heart! if you treat them well, They wouldn't never do that to anyone. but if you go there to treat them badly than you should deserve every thing come to your way!

Many Farang go there to have fun, I have never hear any thing happened to them yet. you are all adult here. you should chose who do you want to be friend with while you are there. Don't be paranoia, just go there to have a good time..

HELLO BHK,

VERY IMPRESSIVE LECTURES.  

BEWARE OF DANGERS IN LAOS...
OUR HUMAN BEING ARE MOST DANGEROUS SPICIES IN THIS PLANET EARTH.  TRUST NO ONE......!  

HAVE FAITH  AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
COMMUNIST NEVER BELIEVE IN GOD. THEY ARE BELIEVE IN AK 47.

MARK MY WORDS FOR IT, 4 YRS LIVED WITH THEM. THEY NEVER CHANGED A BIT.

if you belief in god than you should know how to"Ah ho ci kaum" Holding a vengeance over 35 year...that must be put your shoulder long and heavy for load! It's time to let go with the load....stop and relax...let the young one to carry on from now on...

Tee, Thanks.........

I knew, times fly.
Past is past, by gone be by gone.

Bla bla bla...

Take girl home and fuk the sh*t out of her.

Give her 15$.

She happy, you happy.

I herd the going rate is around 1000-2000 baht for the decent looking girls?

perhaps wiser to invest 1000 - 2000 baht in some English spelling lessons ;-) ?

It depends on
- where you pick them up
- time of evening/night
- short-time/long-time
- lady or ladyboy
- etc.

Last week-end i paid 500.000 kip, but i facialized her twice so i think it was worth the money.

You can also throw her into the Mekong after butt raping her, that's what i usually do when i'm broke.

Just be sure there is no witness. If there is, do same same.

Your attitude towards women seems horrible, I hope you get busted next time !!

kaoli wrote on 3^rd Apr, 2010 at 8:02pm:

It depends on - where you pick them up - time of evening/night - short-time/long-time - lady or ladyboy - etc. Last week-end i paid 500.000 kip, but i facialized her twice so i think it was worth the money. You can also throw her into the Mekong after butt raping her, that's what i usually do when i'm broke. Just be sure there is no witness. If there is, do same same.

I hope you don't have a mother and sister! because you don't want anyone to do that to them like you just said....